Peter Gabriel

It was only one hour ago
It was all so different then
Nothing yet has really sunk in
Looks like it always did
This flesh and bone
It's just the way that you would tied in
Now there's no-one home

I grieve for you
You leave me
'so hard to move on
Still loving what's gone
They say life carries on
Carries on and on and on and on

The news that truly shocks is the empty empty page
While the final rattle rocks it's empty empty cage
And I can't handle this

I grieve for you
You leave me
Let it out and move on
Missing what's gone
They say life carries on
They say life carries on and on and on

Life carries on
In the people I meet
In everyone that's out on the street
In all the dogs and cats
In the flies and rats
In the rot and the rust
In the ashes and the dust
Life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on

It's just the car that we ride in
A home we reside in
The face that we hide in
The way we are tied in
And life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on

Did I dream this belief?
Or did I believe this dream?
Now I can find relief
I grieve

I am sad.
It is not about me.
I feel ignored.
It is not about me.
I feel numb.
It is not about me.
He is suffering.
I want to help him.
I cannot.
It is not about me.

I been looking at the stars tonight
And I think oh, how I miss that bright sun
I'll be a dreamer 'til the day I die
But they say oh, how the good die young


Lyrics: Spirits, Strumbellas

allow me this selfishness to write my thoughts and feelings

I was not close to him, but I did know him.

He was so dear to my boyfriend. They were so close for so long.
The last few years there was a bit of a rift, one that I don't know the cause of.
But it was sad. I remember when he changed his phone and deleted facebook.
My boyfriend felt deserted.

He feels he could have done something more to keep this from happening.
He hurts so badly.

I hurt for him.

I have never lost one so close.
I don't even know if I've ever had anyone so close.

Would anyone mourn me in similar fashion?
(again, not about me, just streaming here...)
I don't seem to make deep connections that easily.
I have a handful of really good friends, but I wouldn't say I have a best friend, nor have I ever, really.

But this has made me think that I should probably try to stay in touch more regularly with people I care about. Some of whom perhaps out communication has lapsed for years even.

People are special. No matter who they are, they leave a hole behind when they go.

I hope that my boyfriend can mend his hole a bit.

I feel so helpless.

Death is not a thing I'm very familiar with.
Not human death anyway.

I don't know how to feel.

I have never lost anyone close to me.
I cannot imagine the pain.
The longing.

I don't know how to help.
But it's not about me.
I cannot make it about me.