I would die for you
I would die for you
I've been dying just to feel you by my side, to know that you're mine

I would cry for you
I would cry for you
I will wash away your pain with all my tears, I'm drowning on fear

I will pray for you
I will pray for you,
I will sell my soul for something pure and true, someone like you

See your face every place that I walk in
Hear your voice every time that I'm talkin'
You will believe in me, and I will never be ignored

I will burn for you
Feel pain for you
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart, and tear it apart

I will lie for you
Beg and steal for you
I will crawl on hands and knees until you see, you're just like me

Violate all the love that I'm missin'
Throw away all the pain that I'm livin'
You will believe in me, and I can never be ignored

I would die for you
I would kill for you
I will steal for you
I'd do time for you
I will wait for you
I'd make room for you
I'd sink ships for you,
Take the cross for you
Make me a part of you
Because I believe in you
I believe in you
I would die for you

I feel torn in two separate directions.
There's nothing keeping me here.
Only familiarity. Routine.
Against the whole of the unknown.

"I know I tried, I was not stable
Flawed by pride, I miss my sanguine eyes
So hold my hands up...breathe in, and breathe out."

I see such pain around me
Friends falling in and out of style
Backbiting, overworked
Heat, stress, sickness

I yearn for another place
But people are the same everywhere
Humanity is in pain

To combat it
One must share the it
Realize that it exists and take some
And let others take some

I'm afraid.
Afraid that the paper clips holding the links together will snap.
Everything will tumble to rubble and sweet memories.

It it a facade that blinds everyone and us?
We ignore the building clouds,
Paddling in circles.
That won't save us from the storm.

But being wet isn't the worst that can happen.

It will be okay.
It always works out.

I'm the optimist.
Seeing that silver lining,
The light at the end of the tunnel.

It's tiring though.
But I know no other way.

I only know what I've experienced.
Be good and good will come of it.
Usually.

Yes, some things are unsure and unstable.
There may be tumbles and broken bones.
There may be hearwrenching failure.

But it can turn around.
And usually does.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
I guess it's physics.

I don't know right from wrong or even right from left. I don't know how to quantify feelings how to compare thoughts. I want to do the best thing not the easy thing. I want everything to always be okay. why is there such restlessness within me?

Sometimes nostalgia is physical pain
This time of year
Certain smells
Snaches of Spanish
A memory of shoes

The freshness of a sundrenched morning
Covered in shards of frost
After slumbering under so many perfect stars
Unsullied by any pollutant

The clean smell of the hospital
The squeak of the floors
Silent, birghtly colored women lining the walls
Children clinging to thier backs

Walking a narrow, dusty paths
In sandals, just like the people
Winding forever beween homes and farms and villiages
Along the edges of the canyon

Feeding dogs, riding donkeys, herding goats
The people always watching
Am I her son, they ask
All they know is that I'm a stranger

But if I'm a stranger
Why does it feel like home?
Because I can never return as I was.
The people I know will not longer want me.

The place I love is lost to me.

I don't know how to be alone
I burn the back of my skull
with light from thousands of tiny spots
words that blur, pictures, contorted people

I am afraid.
There is no cure for cowardice.
Which is the safest option?
Will I cling to the old
or embrace the new?
Both scare me.

And I don't have a choice.
I haven't for some time.
And I'm okay with that.

LKH

You made it all bearable.
I didn't ever want to disappoint you.
Your approval was the most important.
You greeted me with a bro nod.
Called me dude.
Showed me the most efficient way to fold.
Taught me how to clean guillotine kennels.
Laughed with me and made me laugh.
I felt for you when you were in pain.
I feel for you now,
Remembering the laughter
The bagels.
The candies after Christmas.
The string cheese you left just for me.
You were so strong.
You had strong opinions.
You always said what you meant
And meant what you said.
Your passion was inspiring.
I will not forget your lessons.
It will not be the same without you.

Somebody That I Used to Know

Now and then I think of when we were together

Like when you said you felt so happy you could die

I told myself that you were right for me,

But felt so lonely in your company

But that was love and it’s an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind’a sadness

Like resignation to the end, always the end

So when we found that we could not make sense

Well you said that we would still be friends

But I’ll admit that I was glad it was over

But you didn’t have to cut me off

Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing

I don’t even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger

And that feels so rough


-- Gotye

(I can't help but think of her. She took something from me that I will never regain.)

"i dont know how, but

"i dont know how, but you ignite my stars"